Self-doubt is a real thing. It exists in our personal and professional life. Life comes with its seasons. There are seasons of trials and tribulations, where life fights you hard. There are seasons where everything is going right and all your prayers have been answered. What about the seasons of self-doubt? For some, it may even be a constant thing that comes up. For others, self-doubt may only occur for one thing in their life. Whatever it may be for you, I want to tell you it’s okay.
I heard Tyra Banks say that “every woman has self-doubt” and she’s right. It’s okay to have those feelings because it happens. Sometimes self-doubt can be the push you need to cross over to the side that you want to be on. My question to you now is, how are you choosing to overcome it? Now I know I said self-doubt is okay, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to settle into those feelings.
Self-doubt hit me hard in the past few months. I had a personal experience that changed my world, from where I was living to even my job. It was tough and I won’t lie, I wallowed in my sorrows for a little bit. I thought that I was doing a good thing by simply talking and crying. At least I was acknowledging my feelings and didn’t hold it all in as I normally would do. After a while I got tired, it became draining and it was taking a toll on me. Before everything happened, I was going to the gym every morning at 5 AM, eating healthy, my skin was glowing, drinking a gallon of water a day, becoming an advocate for living a positive life; the list goes on. After everything happened, I stopped working out, started indulging in all the wrong food choices, wine was the majority replacing my water intake, and I began to allow the negativity from my situation to affect me. All while this was happening, my self-doubt just grew. From feeling not good enough, overthinking everything, low self-esteem, no confidence in myself; you name it I’m sure I felt it at some point. This was my season of self-doubt.
When I hit my point of exhaustion, I knew I couldn’t settle into the space that I was in. I had to change everything but instead of starting from where I left off I decided to create a blank canvas for myself. It’s a process and it’s something you should work at every day. I’m still growing and I have a long way to go but I wanted to share some of my favorite ways to overcome self-doubt.
Whether you’re going through a good or bad time, pray. God will always be there listening to you. By rooting myself in the bible, it has helped me, especially on my bad days. I prayed before but not as much. Let me be transparent with you, it was a few words here and there. That is the type of prayer life I had. Now God has truly changed my heart and has shown me his hand over my life. You don't have to pray a structured prayer, just start talking to him.
Let go of everything that has happened. Let go of what anyone has said about you. Let go of that voice of self-doubt in your head. You can’t move forward if you’re holding on to the things that were meant to be temporary in your life. My season is temporary and I know that now. If I held on to the feelings of anger and resentment I wouldn’t be able to grow. So take it from me, let it go.
What have you done for yourself lately? Seriously, sit down and search within yourself about the things that make you smile. Self-care can be taking a nice long bath or even reading a book. I love a good ME day. However, I have learned that self-care is also cleaning out that wound and allowing it to heal instead of allowing it to become worse in my life. This goes in hand with letting it go, while you’re having that “me time” and making sure that you find time to heal too.
“It’s like ripping a band aid off.”
I’m sure you looked at this quote like "what is this girl talking about?" When I find it hard to do things or even when I’m not motivated, one of my good friends always says “It’s like ripping a band aid off.” It may hurt or bother you in the beginning but the relief is in the end because you’ll be glad that you did the things that at first you really didn’t want to do. I thought it was the craziest thing ever at first, but I learned to apply it to my life. Find a motivational quote, video, or even music that will help you.
I am thankful for. . .
It’s easy to fall back into that wallowing space when we focus on what’s happened, how things are going right or even what we don’t have. Journaling is a way for me to be transparent and open with my true feelings and emotions. I can express myself without opinions or judgment. When journaling, I have incorporated gratitude in a very large way. It allows me to focus my energy on all the positive things, things I do have, things I have accomplished, and all the things that are simply going right. Try it. You don’t even need a journal to start unless you want one. Everyday start writing down what you’re thankful for. I started off doing it every morning and night, and now I write all throughout the day.
I am a competitive person. I found that for me the key to conquering any self-doubt I had was to challenge myself. I know I have the ability to do things and so do you. Prove your self-doubt wrong by setting small and large goals. Once you accomplish them, don’t forget to celebrate it. Take yourself out and enjoy every bit of the moment.
How many of us have them, friends or TRIBE
I love being my biggest cheerleader but in this case, I loved, even more, having the greatest support system ever. Whether it’s your friends or family, when going through a tough time it really does help to have a good support system. I’m not talking about just anybody in your life, but the lasting relationships. It’s okay to need them, those relationships have been nurtured for times like this.
“At Your Best, You Are Loved”
I believe that love is a powerful thing. I believe that love can heal. Although this time is hard, know and believe that you are loved. I promise this will past.
Although I was embarrassed to share my story, I am so happy that I did. I want the next person to know YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE EVERYTHING and ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO BE. I’m sure everyone wishes they could just get to the greener side of things without the trials. Don’t condemn or hate the trials - instead appreciate them. I learned to love that season because God has changed me and he’s still working on me. I now know that without my season, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Honestly, if none of it happened, I feel like I wouldn’t have changed and I would still be that same person. For you to grow, it may take a storm and that’s okay. No matter what your storm is, know that YOU ARE ENOUGH.