The Quest for Self-Love

Dear [Inserts Woman's Name], 

I've personally decided to write to you to relay a message. A good friend of mine said, "A woman will go through life wanting to be loved. Ironically, she'll spend a destiny looking for someone to love her when that someone was with her the whole time. That 'someone' was her." 

"A woman will go through life wanting to be loved and spend a destiny looking for someone."

A year ago, I met that good friend. She bestowed on me the best advice that I'd needed at that moment in my life. She said, "Zhane` you have to love yourself. When you love yourself so hard, you don't worry about who doesn't love you easy." Wiping the tears from my eyes during that time, I looked up into her bright eyes. She reeked of happiness and love. It was the way she carried herself. The bright colors she chose to wear. The comfortability she had with touching her own skin. The smirk on her face as if to tell someone, "Your opinion of me doesn't matter, I know I am the SH*T." I thought to myself, that no woman who looks like that would steer me wrong. 

The next day, as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, I confidently said, "You are love, so you are loved." What that means is that if you are love then the vessel that holds love is loved as well. Say it with me, "I am love, so I am loved." 

[Insert Woman's Name], it is important to understand that you must love yourself before you fix your heart to love someone else. There are quite a few ways to do so:

1. Words of Affirmation: Encourage yourself. There is a positive correlation between words of affirmation and life satisfaction. Every morning you wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say some simple and motivating phrases like: "You are the pioneer of your life" or "You are beautiful, a treasure among many gems." Words of affirmation build up your self-esteem and confidence, two traits that contribute to self-love. 

2. Mind, Body, & Spirit Health: A sure sign that you love and respect yourself is how you treat your body; mentally, physically, and spiritually. True self-love is found in women who respect their body enough to facilitates what they put in it. It's important to stay healthy and reward your body with foods that motivate good health and youth. That's not to say that good health is just dieting. No, it's being aware of what's best for your body and your body alone. For mind and spirit, you must detach yourself from your physical form and look inside yourself. Internally, what makes you calm and feel better about yourself. What practices makes you feel comfortable spiritually? Take up yoga, find a great church, or seek solitude. 

3. Seclusion: It's a wonderful thing to be alone without the pressures of the outside world. For some people, being alone is the best time that they can feel one with themselves. I call this "self-love time" because this is where you spend time with just yourself. Taking yourself out to dinner, a movie, or just walking through the park are all great activities to do alone. At times it is important to escape away from any outside factors or pressures that may influence how you feel about yourself. 

Self-love is the ingredient to living well. It facilitates how you wake up and carry out your day-to-day activities. It will determine what person you'll choose to love. It will determine how well you treat yourself and the decisions you make for yourself. 

The key word in self-love is 'self'. When evaluating your level of self-love remember to think of only your feelings for yourself and none of the feelings someone projected onto you. The more we practice self-love the more we will accept our weakness and shortcomings, we will be confident in our decisions, and we will be centured on our purpose.