A Walk in the Park: Letting Go of the Fear of Failure
I’d start off with a cliché saying like, “We can’t fail if we put our minds to it”, but truthfully that’s a lie. Sometimes we are set up to fail, we can’t succeed at everything. And if we could this world would be utopia and not flawed.
As a student I constantly got emails, letters, and calls that started with these following headings:
We regret to inform you...
You aren’t qualified.
We found someone better fitting for this position.
"Do one thing everyday that scares you." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
In this lifetime, everyone will hear these words or phrases. Unfortunately, that's the fact of life. In a span of a few seconds something that you've been anticipating --- a job, an acceptance to a university, permit approval, or loan approval -- can be destroyed by just one word: denied.
For people all over the world, some assume that denial or rejection is a failure. My mom constantly reminds me that "if it was meant to happen it would have. If the job was meant to be yours, you would have had it." So many times, people are so consumed with the fear of failure that they don't try at all or they miss that aspect of just enjoying the moment.
Today is about letting that fear go. It’s quite simple when it becomes a daily mantra, “Failure happens, just learn from it.” The moments that we fear failing the most we have nothing to worry about. If we fear it, we’d do anything possible to avoid it, right?
An important message to get from here is that we can choose to let our fear determine our fate or we can take our fear and work harder to not make our fear the reality.
So you’ve asked me, what is it you can do to make this adventure a walk in the park? Well, you can start off by determining whether or not it’s failing that you're afraid of or your capabilities. Nine chances out of the 10 times that I’ve feared failing something was because I didn’t have faith in what it was that I could do. With that knowledge, I then consulted with myself to determine my underlying fear about myself. Why did I doubt myself? Did I allow others to implant discouragement in my mind? If so, who are those people?
The most important step in all of this is to face your fears head on. Failure is natural, all humans fail. So you should face the possibility that you may or may not succeed in whatever it is you're trying to do. However, that does not mean that you should assume that you will fail right out of the gate. No one is ever successful when they plan to fail. Fear does not mean you have to lose your courage. The bravest people are afraid of a lot of things.
The biggest aim here is for you to understand that you have to let go of the fear of failure, acknowledged that yes, failing may or may not happen but that won't happen to you. And if so, so what. Pick yourself up. Remember, things that are destined for you will be destined to happen.